Oh yay!!!

I have officially become a mobile blogger. How freaking amazing is that?

To celebrate this momentous occasion I will now show you a picture of me prior to my taco run and one of my dinner (which I ate at 11pm) :

Oy Vey! Apologies (Again) and Other Rabbles.

did i or did I say that I can never finish those month writing challenges?

Ugh. I feel like a failure. 

Pure, genuine, 100% grade-A failure.

Kidding.

It's so hard maintaining a blog when you spend a good majority of your time in a place that does NOT have internet. There are always things I want to say and while I do try hard to keep it up... it's hard. This past summer I knew full well that maintaining this blog would not be realistic and hard to do. Last year my sister gave me a beautiful leather bound journal in which I intended to document my day-by-day adventures over the summer and write about all my hopes and dreams until catastrophe happened and I no longer wanted to document. In contrast, I wanted to forget.

Okay, lie. I did want to document but do you know how hard it is to keep your writing speed synchronized with your brain? I want to say too much and I can't write nearly as fast as I would like and then the writing becomes sloppy and the mere sight of my page depresses me and I suddenly want to rip out the page and start over but I know it will only ruin the book and instead I toss it aside, out of sight and out of mind.

Where is this said leather journal now, you may ask? It's on the highest shelf in my bookshelf. 

Away from prying and snoopy people. Waiting.

Fresh parchment and endless space for ideas and thoughts growing cold while my fingers work endlessly and tirelessly on a keyboard a few cities away.

In other news.

School is starting up again soon.

Doesn't it seem like  forever since I was last in a classroom?

I'm not exactly complaining. I wanted to become a lot more cultured this summer.

Visit places and explore the city in which I was born as would a tourist.

I wanted to see it with fresh eyes, thrilled by every stop sign and fellow pedestrian.

WOW, THEY LIVE IN LOS ANGELES.  I wanted to feel like.

This summer I took a trip to New York City, Washington D.C, Philadelphia and Houston.

New York has this sort of magic about it that I can't quite put into words.

You step foot and you strangely feel ...at home.

 

Walking down the streets you can't help but picture yourself living there, picking at your brain for reasons as to why you don't already.

This wasn't my first time visiting New York but the thrill is always the same.

'Let's go to that little shop we always go to in The Village!.'

 

'Remember that really good pizza place in Union Square?'  

Every area brings thrill, excitement and a feeling of wonder.

You're in freakin' New York. 

Or is it because I'm not from New York that is all seems to magical? 

Sitting on a bench in Battery Park, melting and sipping an ice cold water bottle I began to think.

Do you think everyone feels that way when they are in other cities?

Do people feel that way about Los Angeles? I often feel like I take LA for granted.

'Oh, damn downtown traffic.'

'Ugh, hate how many people are always in hollywood.'

'It's so hot!' - it's 75 degrees.

Do people from New York feel the same thrill stepping foot in LA as we do there?

And not just New Yorkers. Anyone who doesn't live here.

Who knows.

I spent two weeks away from the city I call home and I'm not ashamed to say that I was at the point of tears when that plane flew over Downtown LA. 

The other places were okay too...I guess. :P

Here are some pictures from my travels:

Freedom Tower

The view of the New York Stock Exchange from where we stayed.

Times Square- Broadway at 1am

Printing Press

En Route to Washington D.C.

The White House

JFK Grave Site

Lincoln Memorial 

Lincoln Memorial 

The Smithsonian 

Hippie Protest outside the White House

Liberty Bell

The Capital 

 

Day 10: Something at which you've been a champion or the best

Something at which I am good at....hmmm.

I'm good at keeping calm in overly stressful situations.

Is that weird? No?

It's sad for one thing that this is something I consider myself to be a champion at but really, I don't think I really excel at anything.

I'm a good cook but I'm not great.

I'm good with computers but I still get stuck and tell of my screen sometimes for freezing on me,

I'm good at getting stuff done but I do always tend to leave it for the last minute.

But during super stressful situations...I tend to remain really calm.

My senior year of high school I had two weeks full of AP tests and my friends were out of the world stressed, losing sleep ...


I remember at one point my sister coming up to me and telling me that clearly I wasn't expected to do well because 'you're not even worried about it'.

I think there is a difference between not really giving a damn about something serious and being able to maintain your cool, prioritize and keep your head clear and level headed.


I think I'm a champion at maintaining my cool.

make sense?

yeh? yeh? good.

Useless and Pointless

If you already went through college, I'm sure you can agree with me.

If you have not yet gone to college and it is part of your imminent future, listen closely!

Of course, I am in no way saying that this holds true for everyone but it certainly did for me.

How many of you walked through the book store, high off life and the thrill of applying to college and deciding on a major and picturing your life in 10...20 years?

So many books! So many stories! A world of endless opportunity!

( This would be a good time to go look at my other Blog...read how excited I was about this whole process. GO. NOW.)

No?

Doesn't apply to you?

Well. I have.

I spent hours, drank countless cups of Starbucks coffee and at least 200 dollars buying books that I thought would reach out and tell me exactly what I needed to know about what I wanted to do with my life.


They would tell me the best school for me based on my personality, the ideal school for me if I was a B student and not only that...they would tell me the BEST major for me.


I believed it.

I bought The Book of Majors.

I bought the Top 289 Colleges and Universities or something equally pathetic.

I bought the book the would insure I wrote a killer essay.

The book that would help me make it through the first year.

The DORM ROOM DIET to make sure I didn't gain crazy weight.

Truth is? I don't remember the last time or the first time I opened any of these books.

Looking back on it now I feel foolish for having spent money and expecting a book to tell me what I already knew and what I had to figure out for myself.

No book, no matter how well written can provide the sufficient amount of evidence to make me believe that one university is the right one for my because a small survey concludes that based on my answers, that is were I belong.

Like so many things, you have to go with your gut.

Sure, financial matters have a significant impact on what you can and can not afford and maybe the school of your dreams didn't accept you but even so, a book can't tell you how to deal with such things.

A book doesn't know you're personal circumstances and how despite everything, yes, maybe you are a little nervous about leaving your family behind. And yes, maybe you didn't get into the school of your dreams and yes....none of the others you wanted accepted you either.

The book you paid 40 dollars for doesn't know that you've sat with your high school guidance counselor in tears because you can't possible understand what went wrong with your applications and have her tell you that she is surprised as well.

'I was positive you would get in to ____. It doesn't make sense. I was positive you would get in.' She'll tell you.


A book can't tell you how to deal with the utter devastation you will feel and how happy you will be when in turn, you do get that envelope in the mail congratulating you.


I feel like none of this is really making sense but I assure you it does!

The books are a waist of time and a waste of money.

I was too scared to deal with my reality and decide what I wanted for myself and go with it and I relied on books to tell me.

I bought books and yes, maybe I opened a few and I let the admissions records and statistics scare me away from paying for those over priced applications only to receive a lousy email telling me I was not granted admission.


Really?

I paid 65 dollars to apply to your shit school and you couldn't spend a few cents on a paper and stamp to at least reject me over paper?

No? Well screw you too.


Can you tell I'm a little upset? I hold a lot of anger against those days.


My point is. Don't rely on a book.

Books are amazing. Until they confuse you rather than guide you.

Don't go by the guidance of a book.

Trust yourself. Trust you ability. Have faith in what you can do. Believe it. Be it. Do it.


And when all is said and done and you are at the very last week of your freshmen year in college as I am and you're lying on your bed in your bare dorm room like I am, you can look back and think 'wow, I'm glad I have those 200 in my account because I can use that towards my new iPhone rather than those stupid books I will never again open are take up space in my bookshelf'

and you'll be happy.


Too specific?

Fine.  I'll be happy.

-D

Coming To An End

My first year of college is over in 1 week and a day and suddenly I'm beginning to realize just how much I am going to miss everything.

Nights spent lying awake in bed until 3 or 4 in the morning laughing so hard I can hardly breathe because Kendall and I are so exhausted and are borderline delirious and we have decided to listen to WE ARE THE WORLD in spanish and sway.

I'm going to miss listening to ridiculous romantic songs and dancing in a circle at 1am with our christmas lights illuminating our room.

I'm going to miss waking up and looking around my room and feeling happy that I was given the opportunity to be here.

I'm going to miss many things and it breaks my heart to know that this will never happen again and that this chapter in my life is over and come next week, I'll begin another.


When you go off to college you worry how you are going to adapt.  If you're anything like me and have spent the majority of your life on your own with your own room you panic at having the share living quarters with someone. You worry about being able to nap with someone else there and how will you ever be able to change? Will you have to get your clothes and change in the bathroom?

Not everyone is as lucky as I have been.

Looking back now I almost want to laugh at the worries that used to plague my mind for so long.

'Are you looking forward to college?' people would ask me. 'yes, but i'm really nervous about the dorm situation' I would reply.

How silly of me. My experience in the dorm building might have not been the best and I can create a long list of how disappointed I was and I can assure you my over all survey with not be at all positive but the experiences I've had in my dorm room I wouldn't trade for a thing.


There is something about living with someone, moving into a room with a stranger that is so thrilling and scary at the same time. We hardly spoke during the first weeks of school and we refrained from talking about anything too private out of fear of over passing one's boundaries.

'I don't know you enough to talk to you about my life' type of attitude.

Yet, there is something extremely intimate about living in a room with someone for months. You learn things and you realize that being out of your comfort zone isn't always a bad thing.

We have ever fought.
We hardly argue over things.
We are responsible for our own belongings and do our part in keeping the room as clean as we can.

We have the same taste in decorations so it wasn't hard to take a trip to Michael's at 9pm and go crazy buying decorations before they closed.
Our taste in music is similar so there was no need to hide away on our beds with our earbuds to keep the music private.

We blast our favorite songs and if you don't like it, well...too bad. You can torture me with the next song.

Never would I have ever considered myself a country music fan but now I find myself going through the radio stations and stopping to listen to a song that takes me back to that one drive to Target at 10:30pm to buy spoons and shampoo.

You learn a lot living on your own.
Sure, it wasn't really on our own.
We didn't have to worry about cleaning our facilities and didn't have to deal with cooking our own meals.

We were put in what you could call a 'transitional' apartment of sorts and although we couldn't do everything we wanted, we learned about making choices for ourselves.

Yes, we have a toster and a microwave and a fridge in our room and it would be so easy to eat the most unhealthy food because hey, that's all we've got but we've learned about health and eating healthy.

We have learned to manage our money, although yes, we do sometimes splurge a little too much on those target runs.

You learn about friendship and picking the right people to hang out with without having your parents on your back with their personal insite.

You learn how to really partake in a community and care fo the well being of others.

I've learned a lot but I'm going to miss even more.

Currently, I find myself lying in this bed that I have called my own for months and I cant help but feel that I'm going to be leaving a part of myself behind in these four walls.

I'm leaving here a different person than the one I was moving in.

Sure, there have been hardships but at the end of the day, it's journeys like these that will forever stay in my heart and in my mind as the best days of my life. 

Day 06: Something that excites you and fills you with joy.

Planning out my life.

People like to shop.

Other's like to eat.

I like to sit and plan my future.

Not like 'oh, hey...I would like to be so and so when I get older"

No.

Maybe it's even considered a little unhealthy?

I like to plan the exact place I will live.

The type of home I will live in.

The way my bedroom will be.

The way my yard will be kept.

The type of dog I will have.

The type of clothes I'll wear.

The type of people I'll have over.


Now that I actually put this into words...It doesn't seem healthy.

But don't most girls do this anyway?

Funny thing about college is that it makes you think about your future A LOT.
Not only what you want to major and what career you want to have but what life you want to have.

I think about it constantly and I love planning it all out.

If anything, the thought of excites and makes me impatient for the future.
To be able to actually carry out all the dreams I have and do all the things I want and buy all the things I want.


Top on the list though?

GET THIS DOG.

then all will fall into place.

-D

Day 05: Something in life that gives you balance

Being Alone.

Not many people like being alone. There are people who are afraid of being alone.

I love being alone.

It's the only time when I feel relaxed, calm, balanced.

Ever since I was younger, I spent the majority of my time alone.

I am the youngest of 5 and with a large age difference there wasn't many people for me to play with.

I've always had my own room. Had my own things.

I was never the child that got hand me downs...there wasn't anyone to pass over their belongings to me.

I worried that going to college would be difficult for me.

I worried about the dorms and having to be around someone 24/7.

I worried that I would go crazy and not be able to grow used to having to share a room with someone.

A very small room at that.

I worried about a lot of things but it was all in vain

Even though I have a roommate and yes, sometimes we are together 24/7 I have a lot of alone time.

She goes out and she does her thing and be being a homebody, prefer to stay in, enjoying the time I have.

Sitting or lying on my bed, alone....it brings me peace of mine.

It allows me to collect my thoughts, think things throughly and find that state of calm.

It allows me to fully relax without having another person with me 24/7.

Growing in a big family, you really cherish your time alone.

What's better than having time to focus on yourself with the distraction of others?

Day 04: Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy

When it comes down to routine....I'm a failure.

From going from house to house, I've really become an except at just being able to adapt to my environment and become in synch with other's schedules.

I can go days at a time with Olga then a couple days with Maria then a couple days with Sonia and back home and then back to my dorm...I don't really have anything steady.

One routine I have developed in college however is constantly playing music. All the time.

First thing I do in the morning, assuming Kendall is awake as well is and after I check my emails is put on music.

It has such a calming effect, a way to make you happy or sad....what's not to love about it?

I'm not going to go into the many reasons why music is amazing because it would be nothing new.

So, yes. I have a special routine of getting dressed and putting my make up on with the sunlight coming in through the windows and having soft music playing in the background.


People complain a lot about dorms and the nasty facilities in which they have to live with.
I was fortunate to be the first person to live in my dorm.

There are days when I wake up and music is playing and I reach over and open the blinds and the soft light comes in and hits my white sheets and I can't help up sigh in contentment.

How lovely life can be sometimes.

Day 03: Something with which you struggle

WRITING THIS DARN BLOG!

So why I can't I seem to write about it?

I love writing.
I love bragging about my dumb life.

I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that.

I love bragging about my super fabulous, blessed, unique, only-mine, interesting life!


NO,

Have you every really thought about the entire vast universe?
All the possible things that exist outside of our own lives?

All the problems the world is facing?

Yeah? I do too.

and then I feel stupid and redundant to the universe.

SO,  I try not to think like that too often.

ANYWAY.

I don't understand why it is so hard.

I'm on the internet all the time.

Why is that when I actually have to do something productive on this vast fountain of knowledge and
cheap entertainment, I can't seem to do it?


It's utterly PATHETIC if you ask me.


What else do I struggle with?

- I struggle with writing essays at least a week before they are due
- I struggle with studying properly
- I struggle with reading books that are mandatory for class
- I struggle with getting up early in the morning
- I struggle with going to bed early at night
- Remember that last time I went to the gym and drew a good sweat?....yeah, I don't either.
- I struggle with getting an awesome workout

uh...

..... no words

Day 02: Something you regret not having done last year

Thinking about something that I regret not having done last year is tricky.

Life, in a sense, is built on making mistakes and learning from them.

This year was a big milestone for me and everything about it was a learning experience.

I started my frist year of college, living on my own for the first time without a relative there to monitor my every move.

You realize....I mean, I realized that once you are on your own, you really are responsible for yourself.

Making your own choices and being responsible for them is something I learned this year.

When you start college and live in the dorms you meet a variety of different people from various places and various customs and traditions.


I've met a lot of people.
I've seen a lot of things.
I was exposed to things I doubt I would have otherwise ever been exposed to had I not been living here.

Looking back at this last year...school year that is....

I regret not having tried things outside of my comfort zone.
I's so typical and so many people say it but it's true.

I feel content with my first year in college.
So far I feel as if I've done well and I believe it will end well as well.

Maybe I'll go out more next year.

Maybe this summer I'll get my act together and get my license and have the liberty to do all the things I wish I had done this year.


MAYBE.


..... now I feel funny at the notion of admitting that  I wish I had partied more this year. Especially because I know were a party to arise I'd rather lay in bed and scroll through my tumblr..




oi vey!


What am I going to do with myself?

You know that feeling?

You know that feeling you get when you see someone you love so much?

That feeling when you want to take them in yours arms and never let them go?

That moment when you think back to when they were tiny little babies and you see them now 

and you can't believe all they've achieved in their short life and how much they've changed?

That moment when you see them and despite the years, they are still the same?

That moment when you take them in your arms and all you can do is squeeze them tighter?

So tight that they often time protest but you feel as if that's the only way that you can get your love across?

No?

I do.

With 4 different people

This is one of them

Kevin Austin Schloss

My nephew turns 8 today

I remember the first time I saw him

I'm only his aunt but I can only imagine how it must have felt if he were mine

I could never imagine my life without him

He has this comedic side to him that so refreshing and innocent

He's very smart and an extremely quick learner

He's an avid reader

You can find him in bed, lying down, fully engrossed in a book

He is so gentle and loving

He brings a smile to my face every time I see him

His hugs are like no other

I'm so happy to be able to be his aunt

and be as close to him as I am.

I'm so happy I've been able to see him grow 

into the amazing little boy he is

Kevin is one of a kind

Perfect in his own way

I love you, Kev

Happy Birthday

Day 01: Something you're looking forward to this year.

Looking back on it now, this past year has gone by insanely fast.

It seems like only yesterday I was looking for prom dresses, stressing over who I was planning to take and preparing for my AP's and now here I am, almost done with my first year in college.

It's been an experience, one I will never forget.
I have, considering the experiences of others, been very lucky.

People like to ask me how my first year has been and as I take a second to think of an answer, there really isn't anything bad.

My schedules this semester and last semester have been amazing and I can only hope that come next year they will be the same.

Next year will be my second year in college. It seems outrageous to even say it....type it?

As of now I plan to find an apartment with Kendall, my roommate.
Next year I am looking forwarding to having another good and easy going year, much like the one I've experience my freshmen year. I look forward to exploring more options regarding the field in Forensic Psychology that I want to carry out.

I'm looking forward to being on my own, having my own place and feeling independent enough to take care of myself.

I'm looking forward to maintaing the relationship I have with my family now and have their unconditional support as I've had all my life.

I look forward to see my nephews grow one year older, every year learning something new and taking steps into the wonderful young men I know they will all be.

I'm looking forward to all the surprises that life has in store for me.

I look forward to having more of a social life, exploring the beautiful city in which I live and hopefully see some of my favorite bands in concert.

I look forward to all the milestones that come with being one year older, this time it being my last year as a teenager.

I plan to make the most of my 19th year of life.
I know I can achieve many things and I know I have the support to do so much.
I hope that my decisions set me on the right path.
I wish for this next year of my life to be beautiful, fulfilling, full of love and health and most of all...accomplishment.

Why is it so hard to continue a blog?

I used to love blogging.

I really, really did. I'm not even lying as I say this.

It's the truth!

Like I'm sure I mentioned in my last post I kept up a blog last year. Posted something everyday.

The Journey to College, I called it in my mind.

Now that I'm in college, damn, it is hard!

I always feel like I have something to do and in hindsight, it's really easy to sit down and do it but things always come up and there are always places to go and then I find myself having no time and the short time I do have to do something, I want to sleep.

What a mess.

Anyway, I feel like I might have done this 30 day challange in my other blog and I think I'm going to bring  it back to this one.

I'm going to try (I WILL) and post something every day and answer the prompts and see how it differs from my answers from my last blog.

I don't even know if I finished the last one....


I'm HORRIBLE.

Anyway, thank you to blogiversity.org for posting this writing challenge!

30 Day Writing Challenge: 

Day 01: Something you're looking forward to this year.

Day 02: Something you regret not having done last year.

Day 03: Something with which you struggle.

Day 04: Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy.

Day 05: Something in life that gives you balance.

Day 06: Something that excites you and fills you with joy.

Day 07: Vacation Hiatus

Day 08: Vacation Hiatus

Day 09: Vacation Hiatus

Day 10: Something at which you've been a champion or the best.

Day 11: Something about which people seem to compliment you.

Day 12: Something you hope to change about yourself and why.

Day 13: Discuss some of the things on your bucket list.

Day 14: Someone who has made your life worth living.

Day 15: A band/musical artist whose music impacted your life.

Day 16: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 17: Someone with whom you shared a friendship/relationship that simply drifted out of your life.

Day 18: Someone you met randomly that's made an impact on your life.

Day 19: Something that shook your belief system to its core (a big disappointment in your life).

Day 20: Discuss your favorite movie and why it's so special to you.

Day 21: Write about your best friend (not significant other) and what makes them special.

Day 22: Describe a dark/turbulent moment in your life.

Day 23: Describe a truly spiritual moment in your life.

Day 24: Discuss a spontaneous moment in your life that that turned out to be fantastic.

Day 25: Discuss something you planned that ended up not being what you expected.

Day 26: How do you handle/deal with both success and failure?

Day 27: What is your vocation (why are you here on earth)?

Day 28: What is your biggest dream in life (what one great thing do you want to accomplish)?

Day 29: What WAS your biggest dream in life (you wanted to do as a kid but no longer can)?

Day 30: Someone in your family that means so much to you.

Day 31: Epilogue: Write a letter to yourself.

Read more: http://www.blogiversity.org/blogs/danacreative/archive/2011/01/01/30-day-writing-challenge.aspx#ixzz1sFzht45p

Oh, goodness!

If you have been reading my original blog you know that I've been blogging on and off for a while. Basically I told myself that I would blog my way through my first year in college and write about all the wonderful things that happened to me.

My original intent was to write about it in a leather bound diary I got for my birthday but I find it so much faster typing everything I have to say. Plus, after a while my writing get's messy and I don't want to ruin the perfectly crisp pages more than I have already.

I'm almost done with my first year of college and ironically, I have more horror stories to share than anything else.

Well. Let me rephrase that.
Not horror stories per say, but things that have occurred that have been less than pleasant.

You hear a lot of things when you go out to college.

People share their experiences with you and tell you  what you should and shouldn't do.
Everyone has something to say; a suggestion that will make your college years brilliant and memorable.

What they don't really tell you is how damn stressful the whole thing is.

They don't warn you about how incredibly difficult it is to eat healthy when you have no stove and a very limited selection to eat in the dorms.

They don't warn you about how loud it gets at night and how frustrating it is to live with people who act like they've never partied in their life.

They don't warn you about the slobs you will share living quarters

They don't tell you that it is always advisable to wear flip flops in the shower because after the things I've seen, who knows what's been on those floors.

They don't warn you about how fast money really goes and how at the end of the day, you have nothing to show for it.

College truly is an experience and a place where you can really grow into your own person.

Life is stressful.

You go from a safe haven that we call High School to no man's land.

They don't really prepare you for the fact that you are truly on your own.

They don't tell you how terrifying it is to realize that if you don't own up to your responsibilities, you lose everything. 

You can really rely only on yourself.

They don't tell you how horrible it is to be sick, alone in your dorm at night and not being able to go and wake up your mom to have her make you a hot tea and sit with you- even if it's just for company.

People don't tell you a lot of things. They don't tell you how bad it can get.

They also don't tell you how AMAZING  it truly is.

I don't know about any of you reading this but for as far as I could remember, college went hand in hand with parties. People would tell me of all the weed they smoked and all the crazy parties they went to. How they made sure to get everything out of their system before it was time to let go and really grow up.

That hasn't been my experience and I'm glad.

I'll go into that further in another post but truly, my experience has been interesting.

I've had my ups and my downs but most of all, I've learned so much.

No only in the sense of academics but I've learned about myself.
I've learned about what type of person I want to be, what type of life I want to live and most importantly, I've learned to be an adult.

People don't tell you many things.

They don't tell you how lucky you can be to meet amazing people, people you know will be life long friends.

They don't tell you how much more meaningful friendships become and how distance in many ways makes your bonds stronger.

They don't tell you how incredibly addicting freedom is and how refreshing  it can be.

They don't tell you about all the homemade remedies you learn and all the messes you'll have to clean up.

They don't tell you how absolutely amazing HULU and Tumblr are.

People don't tell you a lot of things, but really...that's the beauty of it all.

If nothing else, college is a time when you find out things for yourself and that's really only half the fun.

-D