Anyone there?

Hello? Anyone?

Oh yay!!!

I have officially become a mobile blogger. How freaking amazing is that?

To celebrate this momentous occasion I will now show you a picture of me prior to my taco run and one of my dinner (which I ate at 11pm) :

Oy Vey! Apologies (Again) and Other Rabbles.

did i or did I say that I can never finish those month writing challenges?

Ugh. I feel like a failure. 

Pure, genuine, 100% grade-A failure.

Kidding.

It's so hard maintaining a blog when you spend a good majority of your time in a place that does NOT have internet. There are always things I want to say and while I do try hard to keep it up... it's hard. This past summer I knew full well that maintaining this blog would not be realistic and hard to do. Last year my sister gave me a beautiful leather bound journal in which I intended to document my day-by-day adventures over the summer and write about all my hopes and dreams until catastrophe happened and I no longer wanted to document. In contrast, I wanted to forget.

Okay, lie. I did want to document but do you know how hard it is to keep your writing speed synchronized with your brain? I want to say too much and I can't write nearly as fast as I would like and then the writing becomes sloppy and the mere sight of my page depresses me and I suddenly want to rip out the page and start over but I know it will only ruin the book and instead I toss it aside, out of sight and out of mind.

Where is this said leather journal now, you may ask? It's on the highest shelf in my bookshelf. 

Away from prying and snoopy people. Waiting.

Fresh parchment and endless space for ideas and thoughts growing cold while my fingers work endlessly and tirelessly on a keyboard a few cities away.

In other news.

School is starting up again soon.

Doesn't it seem like  forever since I was last in a classroom?

I'm not exactly complaining. I wanted to become a lot more cultured this summer.

Visit places and explore the city in which I was born as would a tourist.

I wanted to see it with fresh eyes, thrilled by every stop sign and fellow pedestrian.

WOW, THEY LIVE IN LOS ANGELES.  I wanted to feel like.

This summer I took a trip to New York City, Washington D.C, Philadelphia and Houston.

New York has this sort of magic about it that I can't quite put into words.

You step foot and you strangely feel ...at home.

 

Walking down the streets you can't help but picture yourself living there, picking at your brain for reasons as to why you don't already.

This wasn't my first time visiting New York but the thrill is always the same.

'Let's go to that little shop we always go to in The Village!.'

 

'Remember that really good pizza place in Union Square?'  

Every area brings thrill, excitement and a feeling of wonder.

You're in freakin' New York. 

Or is it because I'm not from New York that is all seems to magical? 

Sitting on a bench in Battery Park, melting and sipping an ice cold water bottle I began to think.

Do you think everyone feels that way when they are in other cities?

Do people feel that way about Los Angeles? I often feel like I take LA for granted.

'Oh, damn downtown traffic.'

'Ugh, hate how many people are always in hollywood.'

'It's so hot!' - it's 75 degrees.

Do people from New York feel the same thrill stepping foot in LA as we do there?

And not just New Yorkers. Anyone who doesn't live here.

Who knows.

I spent two weeks away from the city I call home and I'm not ashamed to say that I was at the point of tears when that plane flew over Downtown LA. 

The other places were okay too...I guess. :P

Here are some pictures from my travels:

Freedom Tower

The view of the New York Stock Exchange from where we stayed.

Times Square- Broadway at 1am

Printing Press

En Route to Washington D.C.

The White House

JFK Grave Site

Lincoln Memorial 

Lincoln Memorial 

The Smithsonian 

Hippie Protest outside the White House

Liberty Bell

The Capital 

 

Day 10: Something at which you've been a champion or the best

Something at which I am good at....hmmm.

I'm good at keeping calm in overly stressful situations.

Is that weird? No?

It's sad for one thing that this is something I consider myself to be a champion at but really, I don't think I really excel at anything.

I'm a good cook but I'm not great.

I'm good with computers but I still get stuck and tell of my screen sometimes for freezing on me,

I'm good at getting stuff done but I do always tend to leave it for the last minute.

But during super stressful situations...I tend to remain really calm.

My senior year of high school I had two weeks full of AP tests and my friends were out of the world stressed, losing sleep ...


I remember at one point my sister coming up to me and telling me that clearly I wasn't expected to do well because 'you're not even worried about it'.

I think there is a difference between not really giving a damn about something serious and being able to maintain your cool, prioritize and keep your head clear and level headed.


I think I'm a champion at maintaining my cool.

make sense?

yeh? yeh? good.

Useless and Pointless

If you already went through college, I'm sure you can agree with me.

If you have not yet gone to college and it is part of your imminent future, listen closely!

Of course, I am in no way saying that this holds true for everyone but it certainly did for me.

How many of you walked through the book store, high off life and the thrill of applying to college and deciding on a major and picturing your life in 10...20 years?

So many books! So many stories! A world of endless opportunity!

( This would be a good time to go look at my other Blog...read how excited I was about this whole process. GO. NOW.)

No?

Doesn't apply to you?

Well. I have.

I spent hours, drank countless cups of Starbucks coffee and at least 200 dollars buying books that I thought would reach out and tell me exactly what I needed to know about what I wanted to do with my life.


They would tell me the best school for me based on my personality, the ideal school for me if I was a B student and not only that...they would tell me the BEST major for me.


I believed it.

I bought The Book of Majors.

I bought the Top 289 Colleges and Universities or something equally pathetic.

I bought the book the would insure I wrote a killer essay.

The book that would help me make it through the first year.

The DORM ROOM DIET to make sure I didn't gain crazy weight.

Truth is? I don't remember the last time or the first time I opened any of these books.

Looking back on it now I feel foolish for having spent money and expecting a book to tell me what I already knew and what I had to figure out for myself.

No book, no matter how well written can provide the sufficient amount of evidence to make me believe that one university is the right one for my because a small survey concludes that based on my answers, that is were I belong.

Like so many things, you have to go with your gut.

Sure, financial matters have a significant impact on what you can and can not afford and maybe the school of your dreams didn't accept you but even so, a book can't tell you how to deal with such things.

A book doesn't know you're personal circumstances and how despite everything, yes, maybe you are a little nervous about leaving your family behind. And yes, maybe you didn't get into the school of your dreams and yes....none of the others you wanted accepted you either.

The book you paid 40 dollars for doesn't know that you've sat with your high school guidance counselor in tears because you can't possible understand what went wrong with your applications and have her tell you that she is surprised as well.

'I was positive you would get in to ____. It doesn't make sense. I was positive you would get in.' She'll tell you.


A book can't tell you how to deal with the utter devastation you will feel and how happy you will be when in turn, you do get that envelope in the mail congratulating you.


I feel like none of this is really making sense but I assure you it does!

The books are a waist of time and a waste of money.

I was too scared to deal with my reality and decide what I wanted for myself and go with it and I relied on books to tell me.

I bought books and yes, maybe I opened a few and I let the admissions records and statistics scare me away from paying for those over priced applications only to receive a lousy email telling me I was not granted admission.


Really?

I paid 65 dollars to apply to your shit school and you couldn't spend a few cents on a paper and stamp to at least reject me over paper?

No? Well screw you too.


Can you tell I'm a little upset? I hold a lot of anger against those days.


My point is. Don't rely on a book.

Books are amazing. Until they confuse you rather than guide you.

Don't go by the guidance of a book.

Trust yourself. Trust you ability. Have faith in what you can do. Believe it. Be it. Do it.


And when all is said and done and you are at the very last week of your freshmen year in college as I am and you're lying on your bed in your bare dorm room like I am, you can look back and think 'wow, I'm glad I have those 200 in my account because I can use that towards my new iPhone rather than those stupid books I will never again open are take up space in my bookshelf'

and you'll be happy.


Too specific?

Fine.  I'll be happy.

-D

Coming To An End

My first year of college is over in 1 week and a day and suddenly I'm beginning to realize just how much I am going to miss everything.

Nights spent lying awake in bed until 3 or 4 in the morning laughing so hard I can hardly breathe because Kendall and I are so exhausted and are borderline delirious and we have decided to listen to WE ARE THE WORLD in spanish and sway.

I'm going to miss listening to ridiculous romantic songs and dancing in a circle at 1am with our christmas lights illuminating our room.

I'm going to miss waking up and looking around my room and feeling happy that I was given the opportunity to be here.

I'm going to miss many things and it breaks my heart to know that this will never happen again and that this chapter in my life is over and come next week, I'll begin another.


When you go off to college you worry how you are going to adapt.  If you're anything like me and have spent the majority of your life on your own with your own room you panic at having the share living quarters with someone. You worry about being able to nap with someone else there and how will you ever be able to change? Will you have to get your clothes and change in the bathroom?

Not everyone is as lucky as I have been.

Looking back now I almost want to laugh at the worries that used to plague my mind for so long.

'Are you looking forward to college?' people would ask me. 'yes, but i'm really nervous about the dorm situation' I would reply.

How silly of me. My experience in the dorm building might have not been the best and I can create a long list of how disappointed I was and I can assure you my over all survey with not be at all positive but the experiences I've had in my dorm room I wouldn't trade for a thing.


There is something about living with someone, moving into a room with a stranger that is so thrilling and scary at the same time. We hardly spoke during the first weeks of school and we refrained from talking about anything too private out of fear of over passing one's boundaries.

'I don't know you enough to talk to you about my life' type of attitude.

Yet, there is something extremely intimate about living in a room with someone for months. You learn things and you realize that being out of your comfort zone isn't always a bad thing.

We have ever fought.
We hardly argue over things.
We are responsible for our own belongings and do our part in keeping the room as clean as we can.

We have the same taste in decorations so it wasn't hard to take a trip to Michael's at 9pm and go crazy buying decorations before they closed.
Our taste in music is similar so there was no need to hide away on our beds with our earbuds to keep the music private.

We blast our favorite songs and if you don't like it, well...too bad. You can torture me with the next song.

Never would I have ever considered myself a country music fan but now I find myself going through the radio stations and stopping to listen to a song that takes me back to that one drive to Target at 10:30pm to buy spoons and shampoo.

You learn a lot living on your own.
Sure, it wasn't really on our own.
We didn't have to worry about cleaning our facilities and didn't have to deal with cooking our own meals.

We were put in what you could call a 'transitional' apartment of sorts and although we couldn't do everything we wanted, we learned about making choices for ourselves.

Yes, we have a toster and a microwave and a fridge in our room and it would be so easy to eat the most unhealthy food because hey, that's all we've got but we've learned about health and eating healthy.

We have learned to manage our money, although yes, we do sometimes splurge a little too much on those target runs.

You learn about friendship and picking the right people to hang out with without having your parents on your back with their personal insite.

You learn how to really partake in a community and care fo the well being of others.

I've learned a lot but I'm going to miss even more.

Currently, I find myself lying in this bed that I have called my own for months and I cant help but feel that I'm going to be leaving a part of myself behind in these four walls.

I'm leaving here a different person than the one I was moving in.

Sure, there have been hardships but at the end of the day, it's journeys like these that will forever stay in my heart and in my mind as the best days of my life. 

Day 06: Something that excites you and fills you with joy.

Planning out my life.

People like to shop.

Other's like to eat.

I like to sit and plan my future.

Not like 'oh, hey...I would like to be so and so when I get older"

No.

Maybe it's even considered a little unhealthy?

I like to plan the exact place I will live.

The type of home I will live in.

The way my bedroom will be.

The way my yard will be kept.

The type of dog I will have.

The type of clothes I'll wear.

The type of people I'll have over.


Now that I actually put this into words...It doesn't seem healthy.

But don't most girls do this anyway?

Funny thing about college is that it makes you think about your future A LOT.
Not only what you want to major and what career you want to have but what life you want to have.

I think about it constantly and I love planning it all out.

If anything, the thought of excites and makes me impatient for the future.
To be able to actually carry out all the dreams I have and do all the things I want and buy all the things I want.


Top on the list though?

GET THIS DOG.

then all will fall into place.

-D